by Elizabeth Terrill
On Thanksgiving Day 1999, the Reverend David Perkins became a
parent.
While many of us were polishing off Grandma’s oyster dressing and
settling in to watch some college football, Perkins was in family court,
convincing a Russian judge he was prepared to become both mother and
father to four maternal siblings he’d only just met. Today, gathered in
the
living
room of a historic home in Terre Haute, Indiana, the Perkins household
looks like a prototype of the well-adjusted American family.
Perkins, a 1982 PTS graduate, didn’t start out thinking he’d adopt
four children. Working with Hand In
Hand, an international adoption agency with offices in Indiana,
Colorado, and Arizona, Perkins was hoping to find two brothers in need of
a loving home. Though Hand In Hand connects with orphanages in
approximately ten overseas countries, the search was limited to China and
Russia, the only two that allow adoptions to single men. As China will
only adopt one toddler-age male child to a single man, Russia became the
country of choice.
The process started smoothly. In March of 1999, Perkins entered a
three-month training process to learn something of the culture his
prospective sons were growing up in. Before long, he was matched with two
brothers from an orphanage in Ryazan, Russia, a city that’s part of an
ancient principality about three hours southeast of Moscow. A video and
written information introduced the boys, and Perkins was immediately
hooked. The adoption paperwork was filed; all seemed to be in order.
Then without warning or explanation, the process stalled. For five months,
little information came from overseas. Perkins, his family and friends,
and Hand In Hand racked their communal brain, trying to discover the
problem. In late September, Perkins called a family meeting. The Russian
brothers had two sisters. If the adoption was failing because the family
resisted being split, could he handle being the sole parent of four
children?
The response was uniformly positive. “My brother said, ‘There’s no
way you’re going to look at those little girls and tell them they have
to stay behind,’” Perkins says. “Besides, the real challenge wasn’t
going from two children to four children, but from no children to any
children.”
Hand In Hand assured their Russian contacts Perkins was willing to adopt
all four siblings. Suddenly, the obstacles were cleared. Perkins prepared
to travel to Russia to meet the children.
He arrived in November and met the boys and one of the girls at the
orphanage where they’d lived for nearly five years. The second girl had
been moved to another facility four months before, but it wasn’t long
before all the children were reunited. Within a few days, the necessary
decisions had been made: Perkins and company were on their way to court.
Soon after, a brand new family, using makeshift sign language, boarded a
jet bound for the United States. On December 4, they were home.
The children are adapting remarkably well. Russian children don’t begin
formal studies until they are seven years old, so all four are playing
catch-up in school. But eleven-year-old Sergei is a math whiz who is
quickly reaching his peers’ educational level while scaling back in
other areas.
“Sergei’s biggest challenge has been learning to be a kid again,”
says Perkins, who the children call Pa. “He had to be the head of the
family for five years.” Athletic, mechanically inclined, and a skilled
artist, it was Sergei who worked so hard to keep his siblings together,
even declining to be adopted by a family who had wanted only one child.
Perkins has given each child an American middle name. Sergei’s is David,
after his new father.
Nine-year-old Oksana’s middle name is Gwyn. Oksana is also
sports-minded, has a good singing voice, and thrives on responsibility.
Perkins says she is artistic and helpful, as well. “They’re all
helpful, “ he adds with a grin. “All aggressively helpful, sometimes.”
Oksana’s sister is her fraternal twin, Victoria, who now carries Pa’s
mother’s name, Aline.
Victoria Aline goes more often by the nickname Vika, and Perkins describes
her as “a sweetie. She’s easygoing, and the one the others rely on to
help them get things done. And it’s really hard to talk about her with
her sitting right here.” Vika, engaged in doing her homework under a
lamp on the end table, peeks up over the page, giggles, smiles, and goes
back to her work. “Oksana and Vika are twins,” says their father, “but
you wouldn’t know that by watching them. They’re completely different.”
The youngest of the siblings is Dmitri Evan, Dima for short. Dima is eight
years old, affectionate, playful, and doing quite well keeping up with his
classmates at school. “He’s the one who’s needed the most nurturing,”
Perkins says, “the one who’s most needed me to be mother and father.”
Dima has fewer lasting effects from his time in the orphanage, a fact
Perkins puts down to his being the youngest. He’s looking forward to
playing soccer this summer, an activity all four children will participate
in.
There have been many changes in the Perkins home over the past year and a
half. Perkins’s priorities have undergone a transformation, shifting
from “me and my job, to the children, my job, and me.”
While the children are in school Monday
through Friday, Perkins performs his duties as solo pastor of Central
Presbyterian Church in Terre Haute, then brings his work home so he can be
there when the children arrive in the afternoon. If there is a meeting or
event scheduled at the church in the evening, the younger Perkinses often
accompany their father, or are looked after by part of an army of loving
family and friends. “I work different hours than before,” Perkins
explains. “Sometimes I work shorter hours each day, but I work every
day. My basic life is the life of any parent.”
Perkins thinks back on his days at PTS with fondness. “My three years as
an M.Div. student were probably the happiest of my life,” he remembers.
“They prepared me well for parish ministry, and indirectly for family
life, too. Like parish work, being a parent is a reciprocal kind of
ministry. The children need me, just like I need them in order to grow and
be nurtured. They’ve brought a whole different world to me.
“A good life lesson,” he continues, “is don’t be afraid to move
out of your comfort zone. God moves in mysterious ways. To grow, you have
to be willing to grow.”
Elizabeth Terrill is a PTS alum and pastors St. Peter United Church of
Christ in Wadesville, Indiana.
© Copyright 2001 Princeton Theological Seminary
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